Brenda Ruth's Memoirs'

I had a dream last night. It wasn’t a very pleasant one yet it felt so real like I was there. Even as if I was participating in the actions or non actions of the basis of the dream.

I woke up asking the universe to take this9 dream away and let me see a different one.

But then I realized that I needed to see that dream.  Dreams, I believe are very symbolic in how we see and act in the world. This particular dream made me think am I shying away from responsibility to speak up when I see injustice? If it’s not happening to me but to someone else, is there something I can even do?  If I am really honest with myself I know there is always something someone can do.

The excuse of its happening in a different part of the world and not much I can do won’t fly anymore.  As technology of the internet and TV  have created such awareness.

However, this was my dream and this is my take away.  No matter how uncomfortable it is to stand up by yourself. You give others permission to stand up alongside you. You may feel all alone but you are not.  You are never alone.

Be courageous and step out of your comfort zone. Share your prespectitive. It may not be greeted with warmth and acceptance but truth will always prevail.

Thank you for reading dear friends.

Yes, There are many Holidays and events that come once a year. New Years Eve is the one where we like to make many of our resolutions. We say to ourselves,  “This is the year where I will focus on health. Maybe go to the gym. OR take that special trip or take more time with my kids. or, or, or…”

The Birthday New Year is truly my significant time to celebrate. What is this you may ask?

Simply,  It is the Eve of your birthday.

Ask yourself when do you really reflect on your life?  For me and for most people it is when we turn a year older. What have I accomplished? What is it that I want to be, do or have in life? Where am I going? What have I done? All the questions we can think of are most reflected at our birthday.

I have for the last twenty years celebrated this special occasion by taking  time to reflect, write, wine and dine or have a luxurious bubble bath,  but most importantly meditate on a word that will move me forward in to this new year of my life!

This one word allows me to focus on all areas of my life.

To give you an example; one year my word was “Balance”.  Finding balance between work and personal life. Finding balance and not over indulging in health.  Finding balance in relationships.  You get the idea. What I find helpful to is looking up the definition of the word to give me new meaning.

I normally do not share my word for the year. It isn’t a secret, yet it seems magical when I can reflect on it through out the year. In away it is a guiding light until the next new year.

I sincerely hope you give this a try! And as you may have guessed my birthday is around the corner! Time for a new word for the year!

This past weekend I had the privilege of witnessing my daughter join as a vendor for a store who was celebrating their 6 year anniversary of being open.

At 9 years old this isn’t her first time being a vendor.  She has attended one a year for the last 4 years. She has always enjoyed creating and then wanting to share her creations within her circle of friends and community.

As her mother, I am extremely proud of her!

Yet as a mother I often hear myself say, “Are you sure you want to sell this drawing in a picture frame?  Or do you think your clients would really like that?”

I see a pattern here in my own life. My mother always asked me, “Are you sure about that?”  What I heard,  “I wasn’t good enough!” You don’t have the skill or the knowledge or the know how. Someone else can do it better.

The truth is, their will always be someone doing what you are doing. The difference is they are not allowing their childhood story or someone else’s opinion hold them back. Nervousness might be called excitement for they are sharing what they truly love. They may have uncertainty but the action is to do it anyways!  A great book to read is called , “Facing the fear and doing it anyway” by Susan Jeffers, PHD.

My intention is not to repeat what I felt as a child.  So I have been doing my own inner work. Taking the lead from my daughter and saying, “You want to sell that then go for it! Do it! Learn from it!”

So yes, this past weekend she sold most of her crafts. She is honing her skills as a entrepreneur by doing it. She was talking with customers and vendors.  Connecting with a smile and a hello. Engaging with conversations. Being open! Was there disappointment?  Yes at first when there was no customers. So we took the time to talk about disappointment. When customers came it was exciting. 

Being around others who inspire creativity and encourage others to do as well is so important.

So as I wrap up,  I don’t want anyone of you to hold yourself back. There is no one in the world like you. You are unique! So be bold, get inspired and truly take action by doing one small thing that gives value to the day!

What does that look like for you? If you feel like sharing please do so!

Have an amazing creative day my friends!

Do you get to a certain point in life where you are just tired of doing the same thing over and over again? I do.

It could be a job, a location or even a habit/behavior we are wanting to change of ourselves.

The point is we get so comfortable we got stuck. Why change? Everything is going so well?!

Then when you really do want to change the overwhelming feeling of Where do I start?

Well, I can only share my experience and you start with where you are!

Change is suppose to be uncomfortable.

It gets to a point though what you are doing no longer serves your higher-self.

Two examples come to mind where I outgrew my employment. One was working at a hotel the other was at a law firm.

One I was given an ultimatum to choose between one job or another. I chose the other. And the other job I was let go. To my surprise with this, is after a few days I wanted to send them a thank you card!

Point being is I stayed to long. I didn’t make changes and the latter situation the universe did it for me.

Do we really want to get to that point though? Maybe not! Again life experience taught me to start focusing on what you do want instead of what you don’t.

I know my mind frame is I do need income to support myself and my family! Absolutely true for all of us!

So How do we get started when there is so many ideas? You pick one. It doesn’t matter which one the key is to Act upon it! For me taking care of my health and starting to explore things that are fulfilling to me is a step in the right direction.

I had someone ask me bluntly if I will ever join the work force again?

My reply, “Maybe if I choose to.” Taking care of family and homeschooling my daughter is a full time job already.

I also debate if I would go back to just a “job”. I am at a place where giving my time is not to be taken for granted. It has to have value and purpose.

I may just have to create my own unique role. Hence for me getting out of my comfort zone to write publicly is a stepping stone.

What is your next stepping stone?

Thank you for reading my friends.

Remember when you were a child and you had so many dreams?  The world was limitless and anything was possible!

We have every intention to achieve these dreams but “life happens” and our world shifts.

Looking through the different stages of my life I can say yes, I have achieved the dreams that I had undeniable faith in.

It certainly didn’t mean I didn’t soul search as I most certainly did.

What I mean is I knew in my whole being it was true.

My two biggest dreams of my life from a young age was to be a mother and to one day live on a acreage outside the city close to a lake! Yes, I was wanting both worlds, haha! For me this was dreaming big!

It wasn’t easy though.  The first dream to be a mother took a long time. My friends and family members were getting married and I was still single into my late thirties.  Many boyfriends told me, either they didn’t want children or that the right person will come along. It was disheartening to say the least.  A lot of soul searching, tears and heartache went with it. The self doubt, am I good enough and searching to be accepted.

To give you a bit of back ground in my early twenties my first boyfriend ( whom I truly loved) cheated on me and within the same year my father passed away.  To say the least it was a very difficult year.  It also made me question what love is and the undenialable mistake of associating sex with love.

As I mentioned alot of soul searching.  Many different ways to cope that worked for a while but never quite fulfilled me.

That is when vision boards came into my life, as well as meditation, prayer and reading. DOING self care is very important.

It wasn’t until my mid thirties when I was walking across an open field to go to a chiropractor appointment when I saw a little girl with her mother having a picnic. As I walked by this little girl I saw in her eyes that one day I would have a little girl. I knew with every inch of my being. My little girl would have big brown eyes just like mine.  I could not explain. I didn’t know when or how but I knew it to be true. I call it faith!

Whenever the topic of children came up I thought of this little girl.

It wasn’t until my very late thirties that I meet my future husband! I was at the age where I was done playing games and wanted to get serious. He was to.

So we welcomed our baby girl when I was 42 years old. Yes, she had big beautiful brown eyes and hair!  I feel so blessed and I am so grateful everyday of my life to be her mom.

The second dream of living on a acreage has now manifested. Just this past year did we buy a acreage.  It isn’t close to the lake and that’s okay! It is a home where we can expand and dream more of a life we truly want to create.

I am so grateful! For all the challenges have taught me to never lose sight of your dreams. We can question the how or why but letting go to what the universe brings can be better then what you could ever imagine!

So my friends, always stay true to your heart and your dreams…

It has been a long debate of mine to write or not to write. As I haven’t always loved writing. As a child I did not like reading and writing at all. It wasn’t until my early twenties that I started to really enjoy reading and journaling. The flow of pen to paper is very magical for me. The flow of the words just flow through. Giving me such perspective on life and direction. When I don’t write my day feels off centered. I can imagine you to have a routine that you have to do in your day and if you don’t then it throws you off!

So why write on a blog now online. Well, I like to share my perspective. I am a person that likes to reflect and understand on why we do the things we do. I truly believe we can learn from one another if we choose to.

My other goal is to start documenting the second chapter of my life. Alot of transition has come. So my hope is to write about creating a new vision in my life.

My goal is to share my knowledge with you my friends. I hope this journey helps you as well.

Welcome….